About nine years ago
In a country across the sea
There lived a spy named Andy G.
He came here for what he thought
Was he'd restore Russia but he got caught
The authority took him to the courtroom and he lost
And their response it didn't thrill him
They put him in a gas chamber and tried to kill him
But Russia came and set him free
And that's what started World War Three
They started bombing here and there
The survivors, they all had no hair
And we all thought it wasn't fair
All because of this here spy...

Oh my, my, this here Andy the spy
Sucked at spying so we're dying
Cause he's a bad spy
He left his home and kissed mother Russia good bye
Saying "Soon I'm going to be a good spy"
"Soon I'm going to be a good spy"

Do you know this here Russian spy
On his next mission he'd probably die
Because he sucks at spying they say
Oh do you see him crossing on that screen
Yes you can so that would mean
That he'd probably be caught today
His code name is double 0
Cause that's the bytes that he downloads
And his leg was broke it's true
And he had a black eye or two
He was not a real good fighting ace
The minute the security guard shot at his face
With that canister filled with mace
Oh yes, he was, in pain...

Oh my, my, this here Andy the spy
Sucked at spying, but he's trying
To be a good spy
He left his home and kissed mother Russia good bye
Saying "Soon I'm going to be a good spy"
"Soon I'm going to be a good spy"

So they finally go to the courtroom
The verdict--it could prove our doom
Because all the countries were ****ed, they say
They took him there, and they told the tale
How his spying skills were on a negative scale
And how he should be killed someday
Well the jury was impressed of course
Could he change the balance of the nuclear force
They interviewed the kid
His survival they forbid
Because Americans had much fear
But Russia said now listen here
Stick it in all of your ears
We will, set free, this boy...

Oh my, my, this here Andy the spy
Sucked at spying so we're dying
Cause he's a bad spy
He left his home and kissed mother Russia good bye
Saying "Soon I'm going to be a good spy"
"Soon I'm going to be a good spy"

We spied all of Pennsylvania Avenue
Because Andy Goder wanted to
I thought we could have tried to hide
Every country fought in that Armageddon war
It wasn't long at all before
Russia sent some nukes to end the day
And in the end everybody died
Countries blew up
And people fried
A lot of folks were smoking
Everything we made was broken
And the planet we admired most
Got hit by a nuke and now it's toast
The only thing left is the cockroach
I guess, they'll rule the world
We were saying...

Oh my, my, this here Andy the spy
Sucked at spying so we're dying
Cause he's a bad spy
He left his home and kissed mother Russia good bye
Saying "Soon I'm going to be a good spy"
"Soon I'm going to be a good spy"

The roaches were singing...

We like this here Andy the spy
Because he sucks at spying so they're dying
So we rule this world
He left his home and kissed mother Russia good bye
Saying "Soon I'm going to be a good spy"
"Soon I'm going to be a good spy"